Mueller On: What's fair?

I have an ever-present tendency to ask God the question, "Why Me?" These words can be heard rolling off the tip of my tongue on a fairly regular basis. This is because I tend to believe that I don't deserve what is given to me. Maybe because I think I've earned better, maybe
because I think that with the Holy Spirit I should be able to accomplish everything, even the total evasion of temptation.

Currently I am fighting off my old single self. See, I recently got married and so my life has made this drastic change from "man looking for woman" to "man taken: stay away." The problem with this is that I have spent a good part of my life watching every girl that walks by, or as a counselor of mine once referred to it as... "shopping", as so many of us guys do.

I feel like I make great attempts to change this desire in myself. I really want it to change. But no matter the efforts on my part, nothing seems to work. I continue to struggle. I continue to walk into temptation.

I pray to God. I ask him, "Please Father, help me with this, take these desires away from me so that I can respect my wife and fully show her love." But still I fail.

For me, this is the "why" question that continuously lingers: "Why can't I change? Why won't God make things better?" And so I blame God, complaining that it just isn't fair.

Many of us ask these same questions, and many of us have the same response I do. But Christ didn't ask this question when he was put through the hell of the beatings and the crucifiction. Atleast not the same way we do.

We ask it out of a lack of faith and understanding, but I believe that because Christ completely trusted what God was doing, that he asked, "Why have you forsaken me?", out of a desire for things to not have to be resolved in such a way as his sacrifice. He was saying, "Father, I wish it didn't have to be this way". He was showing the world that he was suffering like no other had before him and no other would after him.

What's my point? It's that he was perfect. He didn't deserve the beatings and the maulings. He only deserves our worship and our love. Yet he didn't complain. So I have to ask myself, "Why do I complain?" I'm certainly not perfect. We live in this world filled with sin and so, just as Christ was not held back from the consequences of it, neither shall we be.

Our only choice is to try to live above it as best we can, and understand that we are never going to be able to evade the temptations and pains of sin in this world. If we all begin to treat this situation the way I do at times, asking "Why?" and blaming God for our constant obstacles, we will begin to become bitter. We will forget at times that God is not the One who tempts us, but the One who gives us the Holy Spirit so that we can be set free from the enslavement of sin. He is our protector and He is the One who gives us a way out of every situation. And for this we should thank God and love him with all our hearts, not expecting anything in return.

Mueller On: The "Living Dead"

One of the greatest creations by those who invent the worlds of horror films and scary stories is the zombie. I know several people who have quite the fascination with these creatures and anytime a movie comes out about the "living dead" they become so excited that they begin to froth at the mouth and walk as if their joints no longer function. Of course, you realize that this isn't true, but it sure is a funny image.

When I begin to think about what life would be like if we humans had no souls, these are the images that I have in mind. All we would want is death, decay and destruction. It would be our goal to sink our teeth into and therefore kill anything that still lived. Why would we want this? Because we wouldn't care. Life wouldn't matter.

Fortunately, we aren't walking carcasses, but souls within walking carcasses. We feel, we love, and we desire. Sometimes we don't use any of these assets correctly and therefore do wrong. But it is possible, with the Spirit, for any one of us to be driven by a desire for good. This is surely what God wants for us, and this is surely what we need.

The unfortunate part is that we, as human beings, tend to nurture the body and mind more than the soul. I do not simply mean that we would rather seek comfort in worldly desires than read scripture and pray, but that even while engaging in “Godly” pursuits, we stagger towards attaining knowledge or temporary satisfactions instead of seeking to meet the true needs of our souls.

I can be the worst at this. I will approach and read scripture with the goal of improving my mind with knowledge rather than improving my heart with hearing the Lord's voice. Why, I wonder, when I know that it was knowledge Adam and Eve were seeking when they ate the fruit from the Garden and brought death on humanity? I also will often approach prayer with the desire to say the "right" words rather than simply seek God with the words that are actually on my heart. But that’s not what God wants. Just read through Psalms, and one will hear the words of a man that are honest and real, wanting nothing more than to be vulnerable with Him. But probably most damaging is when I approach the church and my Christian community, forgetting that I am a working part of the life that is the Bride of Christ. I often show up on Sundays and never actually look for God's face.

I believe that our mindsets in these areas are some of the major reasons why we as Christians and we as a church sometimes walk around aimlessly. Sadly, because of the sin that is so prevalent within each one of our lives, we as individuals and as a body of believers, tend to gravitate toward the "life" of the zombie. We begin to just go through the motions and forget about our souls, therefore forgetting about our hearts.

We must continuously remember what Christ said: "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself." [Matt 22:37-39] So we must love God and we must love our community.

Mueller On: Abundance

It's interesting to look at the concept of abundance throughout Scripture, and note in what context it is used. In the Old Testament, it is constantly mentioned with regards to food and water, wealth and livelihood. In other words, God’s people experienced abundance in their lives when He provided for them those things they needed in order to survive.

In the New Testament, abundance is also used in terms of survival and provision, but not quite as often as it is used in terms of grace and the gifts we receive from the Holy Spirit. For instance, Romans 5:17 says "those who receive the abundance of grace," and 2 Corinthians 8:2 says that "their abundance of joy... overflowed in the wealth of their liberality." Then in 2 Corinthians 1:5 "the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance."

I can't help but see all of these things as our provisions. We no longer need the provisions of the world in order to see our God at work in us, but the provisions of grace, joy, suffering and all the other gifts that come from the Holy Spirit living within us.

The world can also see the Lord in these gifts of abundance. Just as the other nations recognized the power of God in the time of David because of Israel's strengths and wealth, the world can now see our God for who He is by the grace that is given to us. No God but ours, the One True God, gives such gifts to His children.

Just as Israel needed what the Lord gave to them in abundance in order to survive, so we also need what the Lord gives to us in abundance through the Holy Spirit in order to survive this world and fight against the evil in it.

Mueller On: Struggle & Peace

I struggle and I try to get away. But no matter the efforts I take, it just continues to pull me down. There are ropes tangled around every part of me. I free my hands from one only to be grabbed by two more. Yes, that’s right, it worsens through my struggles.

But never mind that. I am convinced I can see a way out. I am convinced I can free myself. So now, rather than with just my hands, I begin to struggle with every ounce of my will... with every ounce of my soul. This continues ferociously until I finally break from within. I let go of my efforts, and begin to sit still.

Then I begin to feel a warmth as if there is someone there with me. Someone within my inner self, struggling for me. This force, whatever it is, shows me just the right moves to make in order to free my hands and feet. I begin to feel peace with a world whose ropes are pain and sorrow... depression and anger... guilt and fear. How is this possible? I did nothing to free myself, and yet here I am. I only allowed myself to follow something else.

And then I recall... Christ brings freedom and Christ brings peace.